Hello again! We are without children this weekend as Nathan went down to visit Noah. In a way it is very peaceful. I can get on my computer and look at things. No thumping music at night. No grumpy attitude to deal with. But in a way, it is a preview of things to come and that is scary. No kids to distract you from real issues. No youthful vitality to stretch you to try new things. No one else to talk to/spend time with. I am scared heading into middle age, and terrified of menopause. What if we don't survive? What if years of neglect have taken an irreversible tole on our relationship?
We are still working on our taxes. I want to much to have it done and cleaned up. The last of the paperwork, then I can move on to the house issues. I have been walking or using the elliptical most days and I can already feel the difference. I need to add some strength training and stretching soon. We have had a couple of nice days, so going outside for a walk has been a real treat. Today is not one of those days-gray & gloomy, cold & rainy.
The news at work is rather gloomy as well. My co-worker is teary most days with her impending departure. I am trying to keep an open mind and be positive about her replacement, but.....the news I am hearing seems to confirm my fears. Still, everyone deserves a chance, and I will give that to her. This week I am taking a fun little class at the community college-color analysis. I'll let you know how that goes later. I also have begun practicing my clarinet in preparation for our first rehearsal at the end of the month. I hope to receive the actual music soon. I may have to ask someone for help! Picked up some tickets to the musical Wicked this week. We are going close to Nate's graduation, so Jim's mom can go with me.
Noah called this week, distraught. He had another bad test grade. He did poorly on one organic chemistry test, and now one genetics test. He was frustrated and felt like a failure. We had some good conversation about persevering and not finding your worth in your performance, but he said he felt so lost. He's not even sure he is in the right major anymore. Remember him in your prayers.
Got to go and get some dinner going!
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Sunday, March 1, 2009
It doesn't look like March!
We got another snowstorm, so everything is all white and pretty today. The problem is that we keep getting 50 degree weather in between, so it all melts and it feels fresh like spring, and then BAM-the next storm rolls through. I am ready for spring. Earlier this week, on one of those 50 degree days, I took a walk at the park. It was so refreshing to breathe the air and feel the sunshine on my face.
We went to see Anita Renfroe for Valentine's Day. I don't know how much Jim enjoyed her humor, as it is targeted towards women. It did seem to help him understand me a little more. He acts like I am some alien woman- like I am the only one that thinks/acts this way or deals with this "woman" stuff. As he watched all the women around me laughing and shaking their heads yes in agreement, I think he realized that I'm not such an alien after all!
I picked up my elliptical and Nate helped me put it together. I have been using it most days (unless it is one of those beautiful ones where I want to be outside) and it is already helping to tone things up. I need to add some strength training and stretching this week.
I had lunch with a new friend this week. We talked for 4 hours! I needed some girl time so bad!!
Work has been busy and I have been having trouble keeping up with all my tasks. We found out on Friday that they are going to move my co-worker to another branch and bring in someone new. We were not happy about that. I'm afraid we are going to get someone that will not be nearly as good, and the quality of service at our branch will again suffer, not to mention the morale.
Noah will probably not be coming home for the summer. He has a good job as a bank teller that he wants to keep while he is in school, and they found a new place to live. Since he has to sign a year lease, he is planning on staying there and working. I'm fine with that. We actually told him that he should seriously consider that since he was being so difficult with us at home. What I really wanted was for him to just be more considerate and helpful and to stop fighting with us over stupid stuff. After he realized we were serious about him not coming home, he shaped up. Now that he has things worked out for the summer, he is back to being difficult. How disappointing. Noah was home last weekend. Two days after going back, he called and said he thought he needed new brakes, they were grinding when he stopped. He tried to say everything was fine when he was home for the weekend, but when we drove the car it was downright dangerous. When we spoke about what was needed to fix the car, I tried to talk to him about how he needs to pay closer attention. That started it! He started arguing. I finally said what I was looking for was an I'm sorry I wasn't paying close attention to my car and I'll try to do better in the future. He said he would try to do better in the future but he wouldn't apologize for not paying attention to his car because he has never had good brakes so how would he know when things are going bad. No humility, after we spent $500 to fix his car! While I had the car, I also noticed a big dent and scrape on his front bumper. When I asked about that he told me he was driving in the parking garage and was juggling four things in his hands, one of which was not the steering wheel. He ran into the wall of the parking garage! Now that's what I call paying attention! Today he is not happy with us because he wanted us to co-sign his lease for next year and we told him we weren't inclined to do that, but would talk it over. An hour and a half later, they had another parent co-sign, so we didn't have to, but he was still grumpy with us for not jumping at the opportunity.
Nate has also been grumpy. He lost it last weekend when I tried to clamp down on him because of a failing math grade. He threw his car keys and the battery of his cell phone at me and said he was leaving and I wouldn't be able to find him. He eventually came home because it was too cold, but unless he changes, one day he won't come home (or if he does, he'll find a suitcase of his stuff out front and he'll know he isn't welcome to come back home). He cut his hair a couple of weeks ago. He was bored and tired of long hair. It looks terrible, and he knows it, but he won't let me take him to get it fixed. He still doesn't have a job. He changed his mind about college and is not going anymore. His big goal is to get a job at Walmart when he turns 18.
We have been doing our taxes. It is not working so well this year. Turbo Tax is not figuring something correctly, so we have to figure a way to make the program do what we want it to do. We must have moved up a tax bracket (and lost child tax credits for the boys), so we are not getting much of a refund this year. Ouch, that hurts!
Well that is about all for today. Better get some dinner on and keep the laundry rolling!
We went to see Anita Renfroe for Valentine's Day. I don't know how much Jim enjoyed her humor, as it is targeted towards women. It did seem to help him understand me a little more. He acts like I am some alien woman- like I am the only one that thinks/acts this way or deals with this "woman" stuff. As he watched all the women around me laughing and shaking their heads yes in agreement, I think he realized that I'm not such an alien after all!
I picked up my elliptical and Nate helped me put it together. I have been using it most days (unless it is one of those beautiful ones where I want to be outside) and it is already helping to tone things up. I need to add some strength training and stretching this week.
I had lunch with a new friend this week. We talked for 4 hours! I needed some girl time so bad!!
Work has been busy and I have been having trouble keeping up with all my tasks. We found out on Friday that they are going to move my co-worker to another branch and bring in someone new. We were not happy about that. I'm afraid we are going to get someone that will not be nearly as good, and the quality of service at our branch will again suffer, not to mention the morale.
Noah will probably not be coming home for the summer. He has a good job as a bank teller that he wants to keep while he is in school, and they found a new place to live. Since he has to sign a year lease, he is planning on staying there and working. I'm fine with that. We actually told him that he should seriously consider that since he was being so difficult with us at home. What I really wanted was for him to just be more considerate and helpful and to stop fighting with us over stupid stuff. After he realized we were serious about him not coming home, he shaped up. Now that he has things worked out for the summer, he is back to being difficult. How disappointing. Noah was home last weekend. Two days after going back, he called and said he thought he needed new brakes, they were grinding when he stopped. He tried to say everything was fine when he was home for the weekend, but when we drove the car it was downright dangerous. When we spoke about what was needed to fix the car, I tried to talk to him about how he needs to pay closer attention. That started it! He started arguing. I finally said what I was looking for was an I'm sorry I wasn't paying close attention to my car and I'll try to do better in the future. He said he would try to do better in the future but he wouldn't apologize for not paying attention to his car because he has never had good brakes so how would he know when things are going bad. No humility, after we spent $500 to fix his car! While I had the car, I also noticed a big dent and scrape on his front bumper. When I asked about that he told me he was driving in the parking garage and was juggling four things in his hands, one of which was not the steering wheel. He ran into the wall of the parking garage! Now that's what I call paying attention! Today he is not happy with us because he wanted us to co-sign his lease for next year and we told him we weren't inclined to do that, but would talk it over. An hour and a half later, they had another parent co-sign, so we didn't have to, but he was still grumpy with us for not jumping at the opportunity.
Nate has also been grumpy. He lost it last weekend when I tried to clamp down on him because of a failing math grade. He threw his car keys and the battery of his cell phone at me and said he was leaving and I wouldn't be able to find him. He eventually came home because it was too cold, but unless he changes, one day he won't come home (or if he does, he'll find a suitcase of his stuff out front and he'll know he isn't welcome to come back home). He cut his hair a couple of weeks ago. He was bored and tired of long hair. It looks terrible, and he knows it, but he won't let me take him to get it fixed. He still doesn't have a job. He changed his mind about college and is not going anymore. His big goal is to get a job at Walmart when he turns 18.
We have been doing our taxes. It is not working so well this year. Turbo Tax is not figuring something correctly, so we have to figure a way to make the program do what we want it to do. We must have moved up a tax bracket (and lost child tax credits for the boys), so we are not getting much of a refund this year. Ouch, that hurts!
Well that is about all for today. Better get some dinner on and keep the laundry rolling!
Friday, February 13, 2009
What happened?
After a week or so of beautiful weather all the snow melted and, even though you know you shouldn't, you start believing spring may have just come early this year. And then you get slammed with reality! Today we are under a winter storm warning with predictions ranging from 4-12 inches. The weatherman had settled on 4-6 last night, but then the snow started 3 hours earlier than he thought, so who knows what we will actually wind up with. It is really coming down. So much for my lunch date with a friend. They canceled school today, so Nate is home with me too. Supposed to get more snow another 3 times over the next week as well.
Not much new is happening around here. I had some gift certificates and some extra money came my way that I wasn't expecting, so I bought an elliptical machine yesterday. I was doing so well keeping up on my exercise over the summer.... Now that I lost weight, I'm cold and it is hard to get motivated to go out and walk when I'm already cold in my home! I've joined a gym a couple of times, but it's not for me. I think I will do better having something I can do at home. It will even get used in the summer-on rainy days or super hot ones. I pick it up next week. Maybe I'll look decent when I walk the beach in CA this summer! Then I stopped at Kohl's to exchange a shirt, and I found a white wool dress coat on clearance. It was 60% off but still more than I would usually pay and I know it is impractical for ME to have a WHITE coat, but it looked so fabulous on! I've never had a wool dress coat, and decided that if I got down to a healthy weight I would finally purchase one. Still I feel a little guilty, especially in this economy. I've been taking advantage of all the great deals (you know how I love a deal), and doing my part by spending. Two ladies shared last night at bible study about some severe financial trials they are going through and how God is meeting their needs-and I felt ashamed to have spent money on such frivolous things. Still when economic times are good and the deals fewer, I have done without for LONG periods because it is hard to justify spending so much when there are more practical needs to be filled first.
Jim and I had a date night this week. We went to a tapas restaurant. Tapas is Spanish and it is a little bite, like an appetizer. You order 2-3 per person and share. It was hard to decide since they had about 50 things to choose from, some cold and some hot. Jim checked out their website and had some ideas before we went, so that helped. We had an imported cheese plate with figs-apples-and some kind of fruit spread, toasted bread topped with Serrano ham and sausage, roasted lamb, a slice of something similar to quiche that had potatoes and veggies in it, medallions of pork and sausage with a spicy sauce for dipping, and endive filled with mandarin oranges-nuts-and goat cheese. Nice experience and atmosphere, but it was rather pricey. I had given Jim $50 dollars in gift certificates (that I paid half price for) at Christmas, so that helped. For Valentine's Day, we are going to see Anita Renfroe, christian comedian. You probably know her as the woman who sings the Momsense song. She is a hoot, so I'm really looking forward to it!
Well, that is about all for today. Think I'll get my son up out of bed and get started on some of these chores!
Not much new is happening around here. I had some gift certificates and some extra money came my way that I wasn't expecting, so I bought an elliptical machine yesterday. I was doing so well keeping up on my exercise over the summer.... Now that I lost weight, I'm cold and it is hard to get motivated to go out and walk when I'm already cold in my home! I've joined a gym a couple of times, but it's not for me. I think I will do better having something I can do at home. It will even get used in the summer-on rainy days or super hot ones. I pick it up next week. Maybe I'll look decent when I walk the beach in CA this summer! Then I stopped at Kohl's to exchange a shirt, and I found a white wool dress coat on clearance. It was 60% off but still more than I would usually pay and I know it is impractical for ME to have a WHITE coat, but it looked so fabulous on! I've never had a wool dress coat, and decided that if I got down to a healthy weight I would finally purchase one. Still I feel a little guilty, especially in this economy. I've been taking advantage of all the great deals (you know how I love a deal), and doing my part by spending. Two ladies shared last night at bible study about some severe financial trials they are going through and how God is meeting their needs-and I felt ashamed to have spent money on such frivolous things. Still when economic times are good and the deals fewer, I have done without for LONG periods because it is hard to justify spending so much when there are more practical needs to be filled first.
Jim and I had a date night this week. We went to a tapas restaurant. Tapas is Spanish and it is a little bite, like an appetizer. You order 2-3 per person and share. It was hard to decide since they had about 50 things to choose from, some cold and some hot. Jim checked out their website and had some ideas before we went, so that helped. We had an imported cheese plate with figs-apples-and some kind of fruit spread, toasted bread topped with Serrano ham and sausage, roasted lamb, a slice of something similar to quiche that had potatoes and veggies in it, medallions of pork and sausage with a spicy sauce for dipping, and endive filled with mandarin oranges-nuts-and goat cheese. Nice experience and atmosphere, but it was rather pricey. I had given Jim $50 dollars in gift certificates (that I paid half price for) at Christmas, so that helped. For Valentine's Day, we are going to see Anita Renfroe, christian comedian. You probably know her as the woman who sings the Momsense song. She is a hoot, so I'm really looking forward to it!
Well, that is about all for today. Think I'll get my son up out of bed and get started on some of these chores!
Friday, February 6, 2009
Illness strikes
The winter bug is going around and it is hitting hard. Jim came home early from work sick, so it probably won't be a pleasant weekend around here! This is only the second time he has been ill enough to "toss his cookies" since his hiatal hernia surgery. It is always worrisome because the doctor said he might have to go to the hospital and have his stomach pumped, or there is the possibility he might rip apart the work the doctor did to repair the hernia. So I will have to watch him closely. I guess my girl's night out isn't going to happen after all. We were going to watch Mamma Mia and soak in the hot tub. Bummer! Several of my coworkers had the same bug also, so we were shorthanded and that made for a long and tiring week of work. Being gone 3 nights a week is also getting to me. It will be better soon when TBH gets back to the every other week schedule (we have been going every week to make up for the weather cancellation on the first night). By the time bible study rolls around on Thurs. night, I'm fighting to stay awake. In fact, last night I was really struggling. I prayed that the leader would call on me to read so I wouldn't start dozing off-and immediately she did. It was a full page of reading. That did the trick!
Nate hasn't done anything to get himself going on the college stuff, so I'm not sure how serious he is. He has some missing assignments in math, and is dragging his feet to get it done. I'm not so sure I want to pour money into his education if he doesn't take it seriously. Noah is doing well. Likes his job as a bank teller and they seem to like him. Is acting more responsible since getting that job too. Keeps saying it is good for him and he'd probably be wasting time if he didn't have the job.
We did close on the house and need to start working on finding a contractor to fix up bathrooms/kitchen. Need to find the time to find a contractor..... I'm barely keeping up these days.
Well that is about all for now. I'd better go and keep the laundry going so I feel like I accomplished something productive today!
Nate hasn't done anything to get himself going on the college stuff, so I'm not sure how serious he is. He has some missing assignments in math, and is dragging his feet to get it done. I'm not so sure I want to pour money into his education if he doesn't take it seriously. Noah is doing well. Likes his job as a bank teller and they seem to like him. Is acting more responsible since getting that job too. Keeps saying it is good for him and he'd probably be wasting time if he didn't have the job.
We did close on the house and need to start working on finding a contractor to fix up bathrooms/kitchen. Need to find the time to find a contractor..... I'm barely keeping up these days.
Well that is about all for now. I'd better go and keep the laundry going so I feel like I accomplished something productive today!
Saturday, January 31, 2009
End of another month
Time sure flies by-even when you're not having much fun! Boring month full of cleaning out and getting organized and now it is gone.....
Our TBH group was canceled the first session due to a storm, so we finally got started last week. Lovely group of people once again, and I am looking forward to the journey we are going to take over the next few months. It is such a privilege to serve them and pray for them and I hope that they are able to take something away that is helpful and healing. Bible study is also going well. The study is about ministering unto the Lord and uses the tabernacle as a blueprint. Very interesting stuff. We signed the papers and refinanced the house and now need to find a good contractor to remodel the bathrooms. We have also been cleaning up Nate's room and I'm ready to get painting the boys bedrooms before the nice weather comes along. Need to sit down and get our tax papers around this week also. Still waiting on a few things and then we can sit down and do taxes and FAFSA (my FAVORITE chores of the year). Nate told me a week ago that he wants to go go college. We had a good talk and decided on the community college. Lots to do to get him ready there too! He hasn't taken any placement tests, need to visit with someone and apply, need to look for scholarships. I'm glad he has got to this point of decision, but I'm not sure he is ready for the next level. I tried putting a new hem in my black pants last weekend and wound up very frustrated. Don't know what I was doing wrong to keep missing areas and had to keep ripping it out and starting over. Then I broke the needle! I bought new needles yesterday and am going to try one more time before I give up. I took a little craft class at the local Scandinavian shop and learned how to make German paper stars. It was fun, but there are lots of steps, so I wondered how I would do once I got home. Well I'm pleased to say I completed my first star all by myself. The instructor said that the man that invented them was named Froebel and he founded kindergarten. He used the star folding as an activity for kindergartners-unbelievable to me! I want to make a bunch for my Christmas tree, so I better get some supplies and keep going. Well, I'd better sign off now. It is a beautiful day-nearly 50 degrees-and I need to get the Christmas lights down and the ice off my driveway.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Another gloomy day
What happened to my sunshine? It was so nice earlier-I was out shoveling the slush that was melting on the driveway. I even took a nice long walk, but now it is gloomy. That really affects my mood! Not much is new around here.
Noah got a job as a bank teller. He will be working 20 hours a week, which he will soon find out is not as easy as he thinks it will be with school. He needed nice clothes for work though, so we went down and took him shopping. Found a couple pairs of pants and later several dress shirts and ties. Not easy to find at a bargain price as he is so huge! All in all, his job has cost me $160 to clothe him. I'm glad for him though, he needs the experience and cash. Unfortunately, instead of thinking about things like covering his expenses and saving for future expenses, he keeps thinking about getting a dog. He has no idea how expensive that is or what all that entails as far as responsibility or commitment, but I can't say much to him about it without setting him off. Nate finished the semester with all passing grades, which he seems to be very proud of. His class schedule is light this year. He doesn't seem to feel the pressure he has in years past and is better able to keep up. He is still not really looking for a job. I just don't think he has the skills to find one in time. And of course, he won't listen to me or accept any help. Nate missed two days of school last week due to a stomach virus. He gave it to me, but it didn't go full blown (trying to be delicate here) and I was just lightheaded, tired, and had stomach cramps.
I worked to get the Christmas stuff put away and now we are refinancing our house. We are trying to add a home equity loan and use it to remodel our bathrooms (which badly need it). Detail stuff keeps coming up, that my non-detail husband didn't catch when he visited with the banker and it is driving me nuts! I just don't need this dumped into my lap right now. Of course, I am feeling pressured to get my tax stuff organized. You need to do that quickly with a college student so you have the information for the FAFSA. I am leading a TBH group again this winter session. I asked to lead a children's group, but I was placed with adults again. What made me nervous is that my co-leader didn't show up for the required information session, and didn't respond to my follow up e-mail. Thankfully the director of TBH made an executive decision and replaced him with a very experienced leader, so I am feeling much better. I am continuing to go to the Prism group. The leader and I are on continuance, and it is a mutually encouraging thing for us to have each other. We have enough new members that we split in two and I am leading a discussion group. I am also going to a bible study this winter. I have done several studies with this same awesome teacher, so it is exciting to have a new one with her. It does make for a busy week though since I am gone three evenings. While I was sick, I watched the old Carey Grant movie, "An Affair to Remember". I ordered it after catching Sleepless in Seattle on tv a few weeks ago. All the women in the movie were crying when they were talking about/watching that movie, and I had never seen it. I must have lived with men too long because-NOTHING. No tears, no choking up, not even a tug at my heart-and I have PMS! What is wrong with me?
Looking forward to some fun things in the next few months, but I'll write more about that later! Hope you are all healthy and warm!
Noah got a job as a bank teller. He will be working 20 hours a week, which he will soon find out is not as easy as he thinks it will be with school. He needed nice clothes for work though, so we went down and took him shopping. Found a couple pairs of pants and later several dress shirts and ties. Not easy to find at a bargain price as he is so huge! All in all, his job has cost me $160 to clothe him. I'm glad for him though, he needs the experience and cash. Unfortunately, instead of thinking about things like covering his expenses and saving for future expenses, he keeps thinking about getting a dog. He has no idea how expensive that is or what all that entails as far as responsibility or commitment, but I can't say much to him about it without setting him off. Nate finished the semester with all passing grades, which he seems to be very proud of. His class schedule is light this year. He doesn't seem to feel the pressure he has in years past and is better able to keep up. He is still not really looking for a job. I just don't think he has the skills to find one in time. And of course, he won't listen to me or accept any help. Nate missed two days of school last week due to a stomach virus. He gave it to me, but it didn't go full blown (trying to be delicate here) and I was just lightheaded, tired, and had stomach cramps.
I worked to get the Christmas stuff put away and now we are refinancing our house. We are trying to add a home equity loan and use it to remodel our bathrooms (which badly need it). Detail stuff keeps coming up, that my non-detail husband didn't catch when he visited with the banker and it is driving me nuts! I just don't need this dumped into my lap right now. Of course, I am feeling pressured to get my tax stuff organized. You need to do that quickly with a college student so you have the information for the FAFSA. I am leading a TBH group again this winter session. I asked to lead a children's group, but I was placed with adults again. What made me nervous is that my co-leader didn't show up for the required information session, and didn't respond to my follow up e-mail. Thankfully the director of TBH made an executive decision and replaced him with a very experienced leader, so I am feeling much better. I am continuing to go to the Prism group. The leader and I are on continuance, and it is a mutually encouraging thing for us to have each other. We have enough new members that we split in two and I am leading a discussion group. I am also going to a bible study this winter. I have done several studies with this same awesome teacher, so it is exciting to have a new one with her. It does make for a busy week though since I am gone three evenings. While I was sick, I watched the old Carey Grant movie, "An Affair to Remember". I ordered it after catching Sleepless in Seattle on tv a few weeks ago. All the women in the movie were crying when they were talking about/watching that movie, and I had never seen it. I must have lived with men too long because-NOTHING. No tears, no choking up, not even a tug at my heart-and I have PMS! What is wrong with me?
Looking forward to some fun things in the next few months, but I'll write more about that later! Hope you are all healthy and warm!
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Happy New Year
This holiday season has been a blur, so I can't believe it is already the start of a new year! I haven't thought much about resolutions or things like that, but I do know I want to read through the bible again this year. I started that a few years ago, and then Mom died and I got all off track. It was like the wind went out of my sails, and I have been rather stagnant spiritually these past few years. I also have got off track with my healthy living over the holidays and even though my weight didn't change, I know I need to get back to the plan there. I really want to be a consistent exerciser this year. I was doing that over the summer and I felt (and looked) much better. My last goal, would be to visit old friends. Time has passed quickly raising my boys and it is finally time for me to renew my relationships with my friends. So even though I haven't thought much about these things, I do have these goals in mind as I begin the new year. I hope you have a blessed 2009 and that you take the time to review your life and set new goals for yourself too!
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