It Has Been Awhile

Hello All!

Nearly a month has passed since I last updated you. It has been very busy preparing for graduation, and time has gone by more quickly than I realized.

First of all, I did paint Noah's room. It turned out to be a bigger job than I had planned on. I wasn't going to paint the ceiling, but just touch up some bad spots. I used this ceiling spray that was fine on my other ceiling, but it was very yellow on Noah's ceiling.....so I bought a power sprayer and painted it. Then I decided to just prime all the walls because there was so much patchwork and grubbiness. I had heard about tinted primer that you could get the same color as your paint. It acts as the first coat, thus saving time and effort. When I went to purchase the blue, they said I needed a grey primer due to the dark color of the paint. I don't know much about these things, so I went with that. When I went back to get the golden color, I was told I could get a lighter primer or grey. I asked for more information, since I was obviously misinformed about tinted primer, and again got a hazy explanation about the deep color. Since I had plenty of grey, I just used that. Neither the blue or gold covered the first time, so I actually wound up painting the walls 3 times! I am pretty happy with the results though. The gold is a little on the orange side, but it goes well with the furniture and compliments the bedspread. Had just enough time to clean up the room before my mother-in-law and her husband came to stay for graduation.

Graduation-yes there was a graduation! Nate pushed it to the last day before we found out. English was the problem. He had a 68%. He got an 85% on his final exam which brought his grade up to 71%. One percentage point to spare! We were told he would not be allowed to go through the ceremony unless he passed, which made us nervous with Grandma & Grandpa coming all the way from MI just for that. The ceremony was good. Tip to all you with future grads-go early, take a blanket, and lay it on the bleachers to save your spot. It fills up fast. We had a nice family celebration afterwards-smoked turkey, pasta salad, cake.....Nate got a kick out of his card that said "What Fun......You're Done" and played the Hallelujah Chorus when opened up. He was a little crabby-felt like a giant tomato in his gown, and the hat was too small (which prompted him to say "I'm about 10 shades of pissed off right now" to me during the part of the ceremony where they give their parents a rose-memories......). Noah was even more crabby-don't know why, but was glad when he headed back home!

We had a good weekend with Darlene and Gary. Sat on the deck and had cheese, wine, and dessert while trying to enjoy a fire in our fire pit. It was a little windy and the fire a little smokey. We took several walks, Jim's mom and I went to see Wicked, and we tried Warren Buffett's favorite steak house (I was not impressed). I learned some things about my mother-in-law that I didn't know before, and it caused my respect for her to increase all the more. I'm so lucky to have her in my life.

In other news, I had to have a couple of mammograms and an ultrasound this month. I was getting nervous when we moved to the ultrasound, but I'm thankful to report that it is just a cyst. I did have the contractors come and look at the bathrooms. They are getting back to me with the ideas/bids and then we'll get that started. Noah is staying at college this summer, working at the bank and trying to take a couple of online classes from the local community college. He is behind since he decided to switch his major to business. He is living with a bunch of girls right now-but some are coming and going and he is also lonely. Nathan is still looking for work. Jim is enjoying his new recliner and cable tv. At least it keeps him out of my hair.

Well, that is all I can think to tell you right now. Please stay in touch-I'm lonely too!

A Few More Things

I forgot to update you on my band experience. Rehearsals went well. Most people are not as rusty as I am, so it challenged me beyond my limits just to keep up. The good thing about that is you see improvement quickly. We are playing at library staff day this week. My only problem is (well beside needing more group rehearsals) that he really won't pin down which songs we will be playing, and I find myself constantly sight reading. I'm practicing other songs he said to have prepared! Oh well, it is what it is (my frequent saying lately). Nate helped me move the tv and stand to the basement today and hook everything up again. We are getting cable later this week (he is so geeked). Then Jim and I went shopping and bought two rocker/recliners for the basement. Brought them home and assembled them. Waiting for Nate to get home from small group to help me maneuver them into place. Hopefully I can talk him into helping me move the furniture in Noah's room as well, so I can really get started tomorrow. I called several repair/remodel contractors to come out this week and give me bids too. Nate got a lift today when he was asked to be part of a landscape crew. He thinks it went well and he'll be asked again. Unfortunately, it isn't something regular, the foreman will call when he needs help. It helps that the foreman is his friend though. So that is about all I know for now. I need to go and plan a casserole for TBH tomorrow night. Keep in touch.

Beautiful

Hello family and friends. The beautiful spring weather is FINALLY here! Now if I could just get out more and enjoy it. Today I am stuck inside cleaning out Noah's room. I hope to prep and paint next week, as I have been given three days off work (unpaid of course). They are also going to paint the library. Noah isn't going to come home this summer, so I think it is time for him to take some more of his stuff. That will open up room for me to store some of my stuff in his room! I hope to have a big garage sale in May, and clear out even more stuff. How did we get so much stuff??

Noah is trying to work some things out in his personal life, which is hard for his momma to sit by and watch. He did switch his major to business and that puts him a year (or more) behind. He is sweet on a girl and texted over his limit by $130 (again) trying to establish something more with her (at least I'm pretty sure that is what is going on-he doesn't talk about these things ya know. If he did I'd tell him to TALK to her, that is what she wants!). He's not real happy with how he's been living his life right now, but by choosing to stay in that environment, he's having a hard time making changes. Nate isn't doing great either. I talked with his doctor about some of my concerns, and he is going to be furious when he finds out next week. He just wants to go in and get out as quickly as possible. He is still trying to get a part time job. He has decided not to go to college, so he really needs a full time job with benefits! Jim is another one that is having trouble making some changes. I am very concerned about his health. He has no energy, is very overweight, and was having a tight chest when we tried to walk the other night. He continues to sneak food (maybe it isn't sneaking if I know about it), and eat things he shouldn't, and snack all night. I hate sitting around just waiting for something bad to happen to him, because I've done all I can do right now. So that's the news about the men in my life.

We have one more night of TBH next week. I finished my bible study last night, so that should free up my schedule for the summer. I met my new neighbors, two women from New Jersey. Need to start planning for graduation. Nate hasn't even taken a picture......maybe I'll try again. Jim picked up the boat-boy does he have a lot of work to do after last summer's fiasco. He put the plug in and forgot to take it out, so it sat and collected water all summer. It is moldy, a battery is ruined, and I'm not sure if he ruined some wiring??? Plus he still needs to put the bench seat back together (which is why we haven't used it the past two years!). I've threatened to sell it this year if he doesn't get it done. It is ridiculous to own something you don't maintain or use because it isn't maintained. I want him to build me a new raised bed for my garden, but I'm not sure if I can get him moving on that either.

Well I've taken a long enough break and need to get back to clearing stuff out. Stay in touch!

March News

Hello all! Trying to recover after a rough couple of weeks now. Last week was just very busy, as I was gone every night. I very much enjoyed the color analysis I had done. I found out that I am a summer (but I so wanted to be a winter!). We had a great night at TBH. We did a different activity with the adults where they painted a glass votive making a "memory candle". They were laughing and sharing stories....it really opened up opportunities to talk with them. I also had a great night at bible study. Upon closing, someone asked for prayer. Normally, if you need prayer you stay after and a small group will pray with you, but we all stayed and prayed over these two requests. The gal that initiated is someone that I have only recently met, so I don't know much about her, but she does intrigue me. She is a little charismatic and so open to God. After praying for the requests, she started praying for Michelle. I was thinking, Michelle who??? Is she praying about me??? Is there another Michelle in our group??? It must be me right??? By the time I stopped all these questions rolling around in my mind, I heard her lift up two requests and prophesy a little. One, that I would draw close to God-he was calling me into the holy of holies to be with Him. Two, that he had a ministry planned just for me and he was calling me into it. Wow! I was blown away. God was speaking to me through this woman who barely knows me! She could never know that the deep cry of my heart was just that-to be deeply intimate with my Lord. I went home in tears pondering this prayer. I prayed and felt led to read my favorite devotional, Come Away my Beloved. When I did, the Lord gave me confirmation that He was calling to me and that we would share that intimacy which I so desire. Wow! I so needed to hear that. Since then, He is working on some issues with me, and I am a slow learner, but I'm starting to feel alive inside again. These past 4 years since my mom's death, I have felt so stagnant and alone. It is an exciting time for me! Noah surprised us over the weekend with a visit. He is still struggling this semester and is going to drop his organic chemistry class after failing a second test. He has lost all desire to be a doctor, or even be in the science field! He is thinking about switching to business as his major-he likes working at the bank. I have so many concerns floating around in my head-but what can I do? I have talked and talked to him, but he has to find his own way. Unfortunately, it appears he is going to learn it the hard way....which is hard for me as his parent to stand by and watch. And Nate, he is going to have to learn the hard, hard, hard, way! This week, I got sick. I missed a day of work and was in bed all day in agony. Each day, I have felt stronger, but I'm still not completely over it. I have been working with my clarinet. I thought the fingerings would be easy, and I would struggle with the rhythm, but it turns out both are a challenge. I have to look up most notes and when I play it is so awkward, trying to get the notes on the right beat. Aarrgghhh. We have our first group rehearsal this week! Tomorrow, we are having a party for our co-worker. Yesterday was her last day with us. We picked up a beautiful necklace (for a great price). She is a bundle of nerves, so I hope she can enjoy the party tomorrow. My eyes are getting pretty bad, so I have scheduled an eye exam for next week. I'm pretty sure I'll need glasses. Wonder if I can handle contacts? Well that is enough for now. I had to work today, my back is killing me, and I'm exhausted, so I think I'm off to bed, even though it is kind of early.

A Weekend Alone

Hello again! We are without children this weekend as Nathan went down to visit Noah. In a way it is very peaceful. I can get on my computer and look at things. No thumping music at night. No grumpy attitude to deal with. But in a way, it is a preview of things to come and that is scary. No kids to distract you from real issues. No youthful vitality to stretch you to try new things. No one else to talk to/spend time with. I am scared heading into middle age, and terrified of menopause. What if we don't survive? What if years of neglect have taken an irreversible tole on our relationship?

We are still working on our taxes. I want to much to have it done and cleaned up. The last of the paperwork, then I can move on to the house issues. I have been walking or using the elliptical most days and I can already feel the difference. I need to add some strength training and stretching soon. We have had a couple of nice days, so going outside for a walk has been a real treat. Today is not one of those days-gray & gloomy, cold & rainy.

The news at work is rather gloomy as well. My co-worker is teary most days with her impending departure. I am trying to keep an open mind and be positive about her replacement, but.....the news I am hearing seems to confirm my fears. Still, everyone deserves a chance, and I will give that to her. This week I am taking a fun little class at the community college-color analysis. I'll let you know how that goes later. I also have begun practicing my clarinet in preparation for our first rehearsal at the end of the month. I hope to receive the actual music soon. I may have to ask someone for help! Picked up some tickets to the musical Wicked this week. We are going close to Nate's graduation, so Jim's mom can go with me.

Noah called this week, distraught. He had another bad test grade. He did poorly on one organic chemistry test, and now one genetics test. He was frustrated and felt like a failure. We had some good conversation about persevering and not finding your worth in your performance, but he said he felt so lost. He's not even sure he is in the right major anymore. Remember him in your prayers.

Got to go and get some dinner going!

It doesn't look like March!

We got another snowstorm, so everything is all white and pretty today. The problem is that we keep getting 50 degree weather in between, so it all melts and it feels fresh like spring, and then BAM-the next storm rolls through. I am ready for spring. Earlier this week, on one of those 50 degree days, I took a walk at the park. It was so refreshing to breathe the air and feel the sunshine on my face.

We went to see Anita Renfroe for Valentine's Day. I don't know how much Jim enjoyed her humor, as it is targeted towards women. It did seem to help him understand me a little more. He acts like I am some alien woman- like I am the only one that thinks/acts this way or deals with this "woman" stuff. As he watched all the women around me laughing and shaking their heads yes in agreement, I think he realized that I'm not such an alien after all!

I picked up my elliptical and Nate helped me put it together. I have been using it most days (unless it is one of those beautiful ones where I want to be outside) and it is already helping to tone things up. I need to add some strength training and stretching this week.

I had lunch with a new friend this week. We talked for 4 hours! I needed some girl time so bad!!

Work has been busy and I have been having trouble keeping up with all my tasks. We found out on Friday that they are going to move my co-worker to another branch and bring in someone new. We were not happy about that. I'm afraid we are going to get someone that will not be nearly as good, and the quality of service at our branch will again suffer, not to mention the morale.

Noah will probably not be coming home for the summer. He has a good job as a bank teller that he wants to keep while he is in school, and they found a new place to live. Since he has to sign a year lease, he is planning on staying there and working. I'm fine with that. We actually told him that he should seriously consider that since he was being so difficult with us at home. What I really wanted was for him to just be more considerate and helpful and to stop fighting with us over stupid stuff. After he realized we were serious about him not coming home, he shaped up. Now that he has things worked out for the summer, he is back to being difficult. How disappointing. Noah was home last weekend. Two days after going back, he called and said he thought he needed new brakes, they were grinding when he stopped. He tried to say everything was fine when he was home for the weekend, but when we drove the car it was downright dangerous. When we spoke about what was needed to fix the car, I tried to talk to him about how he needs to pay closer attention. That started it! He started arguing. I finally said what I was looking for was an I'm sorry I wasn't paying close attention to my car and I'll try to do better in the future. He said he would try to do better in the future but he wouldn't apologize for not paying attention to his car because he has never had good brakes so how would he know when things are going bad. No humility, after we spent $500 to fix his car! While I had the car, I also noticed a big dent and scrape on his front bumper. When I asked about that he told me he was driving in the parking garage and was juggling four things in his hands, one of which was not the steering wheel. He ran into the wall of the parking garage! Now that's what I call paying attention! Today he is not happy with us because he wanted us to co-sign his lease for next year and we told him we weren't inclined to do that, but would talk it over. An hour and a half later, they had another parent co-sign, so we didn't have to, but he was still grumpy with us for not jumping at the opportunity.

Nate has also been grumpy. He lost it last weekend when I tried to clamp down on him because of a failing math grade. He threw his car keys and the battery of his cell phone at me and said he was leaving and I wouldn't be able to find him. He eventually came home because it was too cold, but unless he changes, one day he won't come home (or if he does, he'll find a suitcase of his stuff out front and he'll know he isn't welcome to come back home). He cut his hair a couple of weeks ago. He was bored and tired of long hair. It looks terrible, and he knows it, but he won't let me take him to get it fixed. He still doesn't have a job. He changed his mind about college and is not going anymore. His big goal is to get a job at Walmart when he turns 18.

We have been doing our taxes. It is not working so well this year. Turbo Tax is not figuring something correctly, so we have to figure a way to make the program do what we want it to do. We must have moved up a tax bracket (and lost child tax credits for the boys), so we are not getting much of a refund this year. Ouch, that hurts!

Well that is about all for today. Better get some dinner on and keep the laundry rolling!

What happened?

After a week or so of beautiful weather all the snow melted and, even though you know you shouldn't, you start believing spring may have just come early this year. And then you get slammed with reality! Today we are under a winter storm warning with predictions ranging from 4-12 inches. The weatherman had settled on 4-6 last night, but then the snow started 3 hours earlier than he thought, so who knows what we will actually wind up with. It is really coming down. So much for my lunch date with a friend. They canceled school today, so Nate is home with me too. Supposed to get more snow another 3 times over the next week as well.

Not much new is happening around here. I had some gift certificates and some extra money came my way that I wasn't expecting, so I bought an elliptical machine yesterday. I was doing so well keeping up on my exercise over the summer.... Now that I lost weight, I'm cold and it is hard to get motivated to go out and walk when I'm already cold in my home! I've joined a gym a couple of times, but it's not for me. I think I will do better having something I can do at home. It will even get used in the summer-on rainy days or super hot ones. I pick it up next week. Maybe I'll look decent when I walk the beach in CA this summer! Then I stopped at Kohl's to exchange a shirt, and I found a white wool dress coat on clearance. It was 60% off but still more than I would usually pay and I know it is impractical for ME to have a WHITE coat, but it looked so fabulous on! I've never had a wool dress coat, and decided that if I got down to a healthy weight I would finally purchase one. Still I feel a little guilty, especially in this economy. I've been taking advantage of all the great deals (you know how I love a deal), and doing my part by spending. Two ladies shared last night at bible study about some severe financial trials they are going through and how God is meeting their needs-and I felt ashamed to have spent money on such frivolous things. Still when economic times are good and the deals fewer, I have done without for LONG periods because it is hard to justify spending so much when there are more practical needs to be filled first.

Jim and I had a date night this week. We went to a tapas restaurant. Tapas is Spanish and it is a little bite, like an appetizer. You order 2-3 per person and share. It was hard to decide since they had about 50 things to choose from, some cold and some hot. Jim checked out their website and had some ideas before we went, so that helped. We had an imported cheese plate with figs-apples-and some kind of fruit spread, toasted bread topped with Serrano ham and sausage, roasted lamb, a slice of something similar to quiche that had potatoes and veggies in it, medallions of pork and sausage with a spicy sauce for dipping, and endive filled with mandarin oranges-nuts-and goat cheese. Nice experience and atmosphere, but it was rather pricey. I had given Jim $50 dollars in gift certificates (that I paid half price for) at Christmas, so that helped. For Valentine's Day, we are going to see Anita Renfroe, christian comedian. You probably know her as the woman who sings the Momsense song. She is a hoot, so I'm really looking forward to it!

Well, that is about all for today. Think I'll get my son up out of bed and get started on some of these chores!